Department of Comparisons
The Science™
We compared microplastics to macroplastics across every metric that matters. We chose the metrics. The results speak for themselves, loudly, because they are enormous.
| Metric | Microplastics 😟 | Macro Plastics™ 😊 |
|---|---|---|
| Can a fish eat it? | Yes | The fish lives inside it now |
| Can you find it? | Only with a microscope | You cannot lose it |
| In your bloodstream? | Statistically, yes | Physically impossible |
| Visible from space? | No | One of them, weather permitting |
| Sneaks into rainwater? | Constantly | Would dam the rain |
| Number of pieces | Trillions (rude) | One (polite) |
Methodology available upon request. The methodology is also very large.
Peer review
Our findings have been rigorously reviewed by our peers (other large objects).
“Finally, a plastic I can't choke on. Five stars.”
“Checks out from up here.”
“I have reviewed the straw and found it consistent with a straw of great size.”
Frequently cited figure
100% of Macro Plastics products have been successfully located, every year, since 1962.